Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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