I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ambien. No doubt about it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
