no you cant smoke seaweed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
