found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
