well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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