GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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