The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
