we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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