You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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