Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
