Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
