She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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