i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
