BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
