no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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