I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
