he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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