just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
