thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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