You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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