He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
