yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
