So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
false alarm. still invincible.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
