dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize