The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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