is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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