First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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