just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
