just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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