She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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