i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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