i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
did i just pee glitter
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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