My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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