I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
