just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
