kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
