My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
