Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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