He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
