I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
