Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
