I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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