Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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