im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
