I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
