So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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