capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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