At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize