it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
