Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
