i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
