You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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