Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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