There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
