Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
