i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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