honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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