...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
