The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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