Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
