then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
