I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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