is your mom at the bar?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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