is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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