whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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